We made it to our one week without our darling.
Not easy. We had to get out and be somewhere other than any normal place this morning, so we drove down PCH to Malibu, listening to The Beatles top 100 songs on the radio and went to a late brunch and pretended it was not the day we got to be with you last. And ya know it don’t come easy.
Tim and I have been like two children clinging to each other in the dark during this last week- (in the spirit of full disclosure, I don’t think Tim likes this analogy that much. Whatever. No quibbling right now.) We watch comfort TV-The Closer, Frasier, Fawlty Towers. We drink a bit too much and we forget to eat food and we stay with each other. We are trying to normalize a bit more each day. Yesterday a short walk. Today, a drive and new scenery. God bless our wonderful friend and employee Cris who is keeping the business going this last week while we have not been there mentally. It will get better each day incrementally, and the pain surprises me and the way it hits shocks me. I am only revealing the enormity of it all here-after a few days, people don’t get it kinda, and why should they, if they haven’t been there? So, here it is safe.
The cats are getting angry and moody, and I so wish, yet again, that we had been able to do this at home here-SO MUCH BETTER. I fear a bit that Yoda will take off to look for Sadie-so I watch the windows more now. They are entering their grieving period now I think. Lots of kitty time needed now.
I will continue my hero stuff with Sadie tomorrow. Sadie, do I need to say it? I love you and miss you my dearest friend. I hope that you have been romping free with Maggie and KK all week, happy healthy and not too worried about us. I am realizing that even though it killed us to make the decision last week, it was good because you would have hung on way too long and way too painfully and suffered way too much, because you always took care of me and protected me and I know you really worried about how I will do-and Tim also. The good news is that Tim and I will make it, girl,and yep cry a bit each day cuz we don’t get to have you here by us-why wouldn’t we? Love you, darling, forever. We will always be together-just have to figure out how that looks and feels right now. We will get it together.
Love you baby.
Remembering Sadie 